It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
