Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
