ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
