who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sobbing to NWA
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
