Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
