the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
