i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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