i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
