somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
