New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
