i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
