Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
