Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
