oh god the rape fog is back!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
