I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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