why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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