if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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