Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
PANTIES FOUND
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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