I wish I only lived at night.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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