That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
