It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
