nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
