does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
