just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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