we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
