I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wish i was in the wii world.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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