I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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