I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
