try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
