There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just cropdusted the office
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
