My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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