i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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