i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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