One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
