so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize