Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
