dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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