Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
