we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
