i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize