yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize