I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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