you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
