I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
