it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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