Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
