Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
