why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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