dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
