Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
