why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
