remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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