Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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