I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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