the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
birth control should be required to get into college
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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