i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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