he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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