pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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