when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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