Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
