Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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