I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
