Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
