I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
