someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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