I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
