the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
