Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
